I'm A Silly Mami: Saying Goodbye To Your Dog #Cancer   

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Saying Goodbye To Your Dog #Cancer

I wasn’t meant to keep you but I became a foster flunky yet again. You were always such a challenge when we went on walks, you would sometimes turn on me when you saw other dogs and couldn’t get to them. I eventually realized that it wasn’t to hurt them but because you wanted to play so much.  I guess playing with your three sisters got a bit boring.

When I was pregnant with Buggy I always had two dogs on each side of me every night on the couch but you Chantal, you were the only one that would put your head on my belly and listen to what Buggy was doing. When she was born the two of you had an instant bond. 

Chantal

Today I had to say good bye to my baby girl Chantal. Chanty was about 3 years old when she came into our Boxer Rescue from All Sato Rescue in Puerto Rico – an amazing rescue very dear to me. I have so much love for this group.  We have always kept in touch with our Sato rescue friends and see each other once a year at the Sato reunion. 

Two weeks ago over Memorial weekend, a weekend of family time and celebrations tragedy struck.  Chantal passed out 3 times in two days and I knew what that meant. My heart sank and the sobs immediately came. I had gone through this previously with one of my other boxers so I knew it was bad news. When we took her to the vet we did a full work up on her and originally thought it was Pancreatic Cancer but her blood sugar came back fine. She was a bit anemic though. We took her back to the vet for some xrays and there it was – 3 masses in her lungs – fucking lung cancer. We didn’t know where the originating tumor was, it was in her lungs and that’s what mattered. Boxers are prone to cancer but Chantal hadn’t shown any signs of being sick whatsoever. A few days ago I got home from work and there was blood splatter all over the floor and she had a terrible cough.  We thought we had more time, more time for more memories, another birthday party, more time for anything. But this fucking disease was ravishing my baby girl’s body and she didn’t sound good or look good.

If you know me in real life you know I will do anything and everything I can for my dogs. They are my babies. I may not have given birth to them but I love them and treat them like I did.   With Chantal I felt completely helpless. I didn’t know what kind of C it was, I needed details so I can do my research and I didn’t have any. It was killing me. At age 11 I wouldn’t have put her through surgery or chemo but I still wanted facts.  She could have had it for months or it could have been recent and progressed really fast. What did it matter what kind it was though, it was in her lungs – worst case scenario.  Remember the movie Superman when Lois died and Superman was so angry and he flew around the earth like a gazillion times to reverse time.  That’s what I wanted to do. I wanted to scream my head off and fly like that to go back to before she fainted on me.  Shit, I was just starting to accept her condition, I was still in disbelief. Fucking Cancer – I HATE YOU!!!!!!!

Buggy is missing Chantal. She wants Chantal to come home because she misses her puppy dog very much. It’s heartbreaking. I laid with my baby girl for about 45 minutes after she got the injection. I told her how much I loved her and missed her to told her to come see mama and tell me she’s ok. 

Chantal my baby, thank you for 8 wonderful years. I miss you more than you can imagine. You are now running free with your siblings and so many friends at Rainbow Bridge.  Sweet dreams baby. I know we’ll see each other soon and I can’t wait to find my pennies from Heaven.  

Chanty, until we meet again, I love you!

Mami & Buggy

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