Today is my Mami’s birthday. She would have been 66. November will be 20 years since we lost her to Cancer. At times, it is still difficult for me to say the C word. I hate that word. To me, it’s a curse word worse than dropping F-bombs. That word took Mami from me when I was in my early 20’s, at a time when a young lady has so many questions and really needs her mother. It was difficult not having a mother and it became even harder 2.5 years ago when I became a Mami myself to my daughter. I had so many questions and still do. I talk to Mami all the time, ask her for guidance, ask her many questions, questions I will never have answers to. We weren’t always close when I was younger – who listens to their mother when you’re a teenager, you think you know all the answers. But no matter what, no matter how things were then, you always need your mother.
For Abuela’s (grandma) birthday Buggy released a balloon with a special note inside for her. It took a while for her to actually release the balloon. I told her it was a special balloon just for Abuela but it had to go up into the clouds so that she can get it. She kept looking up saying Abuela, Abuela and finally released it. That was the first time she said Abuela and it was a very special moment for us. I do talk to her all the time about her Abuela and Abuelo, I show her pictures and she will sometimes give them kisses.
Mami, I hope you had an amazing day today. Knowing how much you liked parties, I’m sure you had a blast today. Give daddy a hug and kiss for us and tell him he’ll have to wait until next month to get his balloon.
Te Amo Mucho,
Besos y Abrazos,
Irene y Buggy
Great idea about releasing the balloon for Abuela! I'm sure sh's up there watching down on you guys!
ReplyDeleteThis was beautiful, though I am so sorry for your loss! I know no matter how much time goes by, it is something that is always with you and although the pain isn't as fresh as it was then, there is always a dull ache and a desire to wake up from whatever horrible dream took her from you. The good news is that she lives on in you and your sweet Buggy and she is looking down, proud of what you have become. I spoke about "C" word coincidences that I hated on my blog, but I have to point out that I guess there are many of us who do not wish to identify it by name--it has enough power, why give it more?
ReplyDeleteThanks Robin! She better be-lol!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree Nika-such a hideous word.
ReplyDelete