I'm A Silly Mami: Living In A Petri Dish   

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Living In A Petri Dish

I didn’t realize that I lived in germ land until I had my daughter. I mean, I am not a total OCD germ freak or anything like that but now that I have a kid I’m even more grossed out than usual.

I don’t like shaking people’s hands. That was always tough working in the corporate world and meeting new clients. When possible I made sure that I always had something in my hands that would prevent me from shaking hands-depending on the person usually. I don’t like to touch door handles if I can help it. I generally use my sleeve or anything else besides my bare hands. If hubby is with me I make him open the door – well he should do it anyway, right. I try to use a napkin when I pump gas as much as possible or my sleeve. Last summer I even kept a glove in my car just for that. I actually stopped going to church because I couldn’t stand shaking people’s hands any more, especially in the winter time-that was the worse. I couldn’t focus on the priest talking because all I could hear was cough, cough, hack, hack, achoo, achoo. I was totally freaking out. I always tried to make an excuse to not shake someone’s hand or I would sit with people I knew. The worst were the seniors, they were always coughing or blowing their noses. I also stopped taking communion. I mean really, why would I want to put something into my mouth that a total stranger has handled. I know they “wash” their hands before handling all that stuff but seriously- oh and the wine, OMG- really, drinking out of the same goblet that twenty or so strangers have sipped out of – really??? Oh, hell no! Just. Can’t. Do.it. If I don’t think about it most of this stuff won’t bother me but I still won’t go to church and take communion.

This week was Buggy’s last pool class at our local Y. We go twice a week and she loves, loves the pool. She could care less about what is happening in class or what the other kids are doing and refuses to participate and wants to do her own thing. Every few minutes I will take her and try and join the group but it doesn’t last long. So last week we are in the pool with the rest of the wild snot nosed little rodents swimming around and what do I see-two big boogers floating by. It was like someone just blew their nose in the water. I just kept thinking, OMG, OMG!  I was totally gaging and tried so hard to get away from that area as quickly as I could and told Buggy it was time to leave. She was totally pulling a nutty at that so I waited a few minutes to distract and tried to bribe her with chicken nuggets. She wasn’t buying it. I kept looking around trying to see if I could find the little rodent who did that but everyone was a victim. All I could think of was what else could be floating in this cesspool.  I was totally grossed out and just needed to get out of there and fast. Screaming or not I grabbed my kid and hauled ass.

Now that Buggy is at the age where we can take her to indoor play areas she gets sick more often. I hate those places but daddy likes to take her there and she loves it. I used to say that I would never take my kid to those germ-infested places but look at me now. Augh- serioiusly! There is only so much you can do in the winter with them. I can only imagine what it will be like at daycare. We toured one last week and so many little rodents coughing and some with runny noses. So many were coming up to her to meet her and she was wanting to join in. I wanted to grab her and put a shield around her so the others couldn’t get too close. But I encouraged her to go and join the others, play with the sick, it’s ok, mama has the hazmat team on standby.

But I can tell you what never bothered me – feeding my dogs with my fork. Yup, that does not bother me at all. I don’t mind sharing my food with my dogs. Never gave it a second thought. I don’t do it as much now because of Buggy but my doggy kids and I were tight like that.

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