I'm A Silly Mami: I Divorced His Family   

Thursday, September 22, 2011

I Divorced His Family

i_hate_my_in_laws_t_shirt-p235567343961078759t5tr_400Let me start by saying that some of this was written by me with truth, humor and lots of sarcasm and the other half by Evil Mami – I’m not saying who wrote what.
We all know how difficult families can be. There is drama, hypocrisy, rudeness and a plethora of who knows what else and I hate that crap.  Yesterday’s visit from HIS parents prompted me to write this post and I just wanna say that I fucking HATE his family. I do not refer to them as In-laws or reference anything to do with family. They are the Out-laws or his family or those people or the old bags, mainly her-but you get the idea.

Things were ok until Buggy was born and so much of the crap that has happened I blame on my husband – the enabler, the why can’t we all get along.

Sometimes it felt like I had this child for them. Remember this scene from the Lion King?  I’ve felt like lion kingthat with hubby presenting Buggy to his parents.  Before Buggy was born we only saw his family maybe once a month. They live about 20 minutes from us but the drama they create well let’s just say you can build a mini series from it. Having lost my parents I would encourage my husband to see his family more often –lesson learned here – be careful what you wish for, and since the birth of our daughter that’s exactly what has happened. Having my daughter has been the best thing that’s happened to me especially since she was 5 years in the making having to go through an ectopic, a stroke and finally In Vitro, but for the last 21 months its been a fucking nightmare dealing with those people. Buggy is their first granddaughter, their g-sons are 16 & 21 and she is actually the first girl on both sides. One of his sisters has the boys and both my sisters have two boys each– my older sister gave birth to a stillborn daughter. 

It has been constant disrespect with those people. No matter what I say about my daughter they do whatever they want. When she was younger they used to buy their own baby food or feed her things that I had not given her yet even though I always sent food with her. So what if she has an allergic reaction? They don’t even ask me if its ok or even tell me about it after wards. If there is an emergency they won’t be able to explain it to the 911 operator,they can barely speak English.  They have all these Portuguese traditions or whatever you call it that they try and do when she is with them, for example – you cannot stand in front of the window –even when its 90 degrees because you can catch a cold. Yup she used to tell me that when I was pregnant –hmmm yea ok. You cannot eat soup and then have the air conditioner on cuz you will get sick.  Its traditional for the God-Mother to dress the child on baptismday . Hubby told his sister it was ok before discussing it with me. I waited 5 years and went through hell to have this baby and she may be my only child and he thought I was going to be ok with that- I don’t F*kn think so.  Take your traditions and shove them up your ass! That’s fine for his sisters – not me. Hubby’s mother is afraid of EVERYTHING and when Buggy is there its always hey, be careful or hey don’t do that or whatever. I am a free spirit and laid back and I’m raising our daughter that way. She is learning from her mistakes. If she jumps on the couch and falls she learns to be careful.  She is hysterically funny and is the happiest baby ever. When she was learning how to walk she came home with a huge bruise on her forehead and they never ever said anything to us about it and hubby wouldn’t ask his parents about it either.  I understand she is going to fall but just tell me about will ya!

My biggest gripe is they call her Maria. That is not her name. That’s not even a nickname. This is a constant battle with them since she was born – again the disrespect.  They used to call me that and I put a stop to it. My name is Irene so it says on my birth certificate. If you can’t say it in English say it in Spanish but don’t call me Maria.  She would tell me that it’s a Portuguese thing. They call everyone Maria. Really how about I call you Old Bag then. That will be my Puerto Rican thing then! Buggy’s real name is Emery.

E-M-E-R-Y! How fucking hard is that! Say it in Spanish if you can’t pronounce it. All my relatives in Puerto Rico and my aunts here can say so why the hell can’t you! She can speak and understand Spanish a bit so I know she can say Buggy’s name.  My husband tells me that he tells them all the time but I know he’s full of shit cuz every single damn time that I have been there it’s Maria and I have to tell them again to stop calling her that. He tries to tell me that because of their accent it sounds like Maria. Really, how about I bitch slap you so that your hearing is adjusted. So back in March after not seeing them since Christmas we dropped Buggy off at his parents to meet friends for dinner. Not 2 minutes of us arriving his father was calling her Maria. So I nicely kept telling them that is not her name so please stop calling her Maria. I don’t want her thinking her name is Maria. So he laughed at me and said “I don’t care – Maria Maria Maria” – ha ha ha. oh really, so ha ha ha – I fucking went off on his ass and the old bag too and she didn’t dare say a word to me. Hubby was telling me that he was telling them not to call her Maria but I didn’t hear that. I was livid! I ripped into him later. He lets them do whatever they want and that shit doesn’t fly with me – again think Lion King. She’s my daughter. They have the nerve to tell hubby that I make them uncomfortable so they don’t want to come up – Really, are you Fucking kidding me. The shit they have put me through –oy.  She is a sly old women and the last time I saw her she only spoke to me Portuguese so I just ignored her. Your in America lady speak the damn language or get out!

scarface quoteSo yesterday during my leisure time of taking care of four dogs, my toddler and my neighbors kid I must have smoked some crack at some point and suggested to my husband that he should invite the outlaws up so that they can see Buggy and I can go to the grocery store. He jumped at the chance. That was the first time I had seen them since March. Well that was a mistake. His dad greeted Buggy first and the bastard called her Maria and caught himself. I said what did you call her? He says Emery, I said yea that’s what I thought you said – that dumb ass. The old bag made sure to clearly same Buggy’s name.  Hubby tells me about extending the olive branch – well I just tell him that I HATE olives! That’s it. I’m done. I’ve said it a hundred times but that was just a separation. I have officially divorced them!

I’ve dreamt about their asses moving back to Portugal so many times. They are retired but still that will never happen.  I’ve dreamt about funerals – my husband’s and theirs – ok don’t judge me. Hubby and I have been practically divorced over his family issues many times which is sad. What should have been the most incredible year of our lives has been a torturous one for me. 

Fortunately for me he now realizes what a sneaky, conniving old bag she is thanks to counseling and beating some sense into my husband well I’ve done that many times but it never sunk in – ok maybe that’s another dream I’ve had. I’m now praying for the day we relocate. Seriously now, thanks to blogging and working out again I’m doing great, laughing about it well cuz I’m done crying about it – LOL, and I’ve finally put the committee to bed – you know, those damn voices in your head that wont shut up especially at 3AM!


  1. OMGeee LOL I hear you 1000% on this!! I divorced my MIL, I get along with her ex my FIL so far. I'm white and my husband's mexican and with her it was always "us mexicans" do things this way or that, fortunately my hubby can't stand his mom, so when I divorced myself of her that was it for me :) We live less than 10mins from each other and I haven't seen her in 3 1/2 years, YAY!! BTW I am a new follower, here's my blog if you'd like to follow back :)


  2. WTF is going on up there!? I don't blame you on the name thing & I definetly don't blame you on the "food" thing. I hae never had inlaws (either  marriage) and always wondered what it would be like :) until I hear stories like this. That's good you are working out....and doing things for you! Keep that up & callme if you ever want to chat :) Move back down here :)ha!

  3. HA - Your lucky. This is why I'm  A Silly Mami. I needed the laughter and Buggy's silliness to get through this.  I think i'm gonna try and hypnotize J and get him to relocate-LOL!   

  4. following you on GFC from epic mom blog hop


  5. Maybe you should just name the next child, boy or girl Maria and save yourself a headache. As for the food, they are just being grandparents, or maybe not. But maybe you should leave them a list of "what not to feed them" Not sure they'll comply but it's a thought.

  6. HAHAHAHA! I'm sorry, but I know this all too well. IDK even know what to say to make it easier. Just do your best for your kids, but you dont HAVE to like them. ((hugs))

  7. Oh man! I know how you feel. I'm following from MB -- would love a follow back at MindfullyFrugalMom

  8. Hi Jessica,

    Thanks for the follow - following you right back!

  9. Hey Ladonna - yea naming my child Maria just to please them would never ever ever happen -ever ever ever - LOL!  OMG - You would probably be buying me a few rounds of shots if you ever met these people - LOL! I used to tell her all the time what she could/could not feed her, she would still do it and she would lie about it - I caught her many times - she just wanted it her way.  I stay away from her -  lesson learned - i've moved on!  

  10. Hi Crystal, 

    Maybe you can help me find a rocket and shoot them to the moon - Ahhh such a pleasant thought- LOL! 

  11. If you can laugh about it - then your doing great!  Thanks for the follow - following you back. 

  12. LMAO! Only if you do it for me too!! ;0)

  13. So lucky to have good in-laws! Yikes! :) Following you from blog hop at MBS. Come see me at www.athomelikeme.com

  14. Tiff @ Babes and KidsSeptember 24, 2011 at 7:34 AM

    Wow, what a nightmare.  Luckily I really like mine.

    Following from the blog hop, and would love a comment here or a follow!

  15. Hi Tiff,
    Thanks for following. Following you back. Love the reviews on your site. 

  16. Hi Lara,
    You are very lucky - Thanks for the follow. Following you back. 

  17. Sharon Harvey-LandonOctober 27, 2011 at 10:13 PM

    Holy Cow!  I love your candidness! (is that even a word? oh well) I am fortunate to have decent in laws (both times), but I understand the hubby's mommy issues.  
    Just dropping by from MBS group. would love a follow back.

  18. Hi Sharon,

    You are certainly a lucky one-LOL!  Thanks for stopping by - following you back


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