I'm A Silly Mami: My Toddler Is A Late Talker, So What!   

Thursday, August 9, 2012

My Toddler Is A Late Talker, So What!

IMG_8075Buggy has been in preschool for a month now and things have been going well. I blogged about my freak out of sending her to preschool back in June. She is only going a few days a week and I have seen some great changes when she is with other kids. She is more confident with other kids in her space. She comes home from school saying new words. Our first month there was a bit challenging during drop off. I would be there at least an hour before I was really able to leave her. While I was hanging out and talking with the kids I noticed that pretty much all the kids can speak in full sentences and carry full conversations. I expressed a bit of concern with one of her teachers and she told me not to worry about it too much. So each time during pick up I would ask how things went. It was usually that she had a good day but sometimes they would mention that she really didn’t engage with the other kids or that she wouldn’t say much but it could be the new environment. I would tell them that she is shy and she is more of an observer before she joins in.

Because Buggy is only there a couple days I make sure that when we are home I talk about her teachers, mention some of the kids name and talk about the activities and songs they sing just to keep things fresh in her mind. This was something the teachers suggested I do and I told them I was already doing that with her. At one specific pickup they mentioned the lack of communication again. I think they were frustrated that she is not talking at the same level as the other kids and although Buggy could understand them she would sometimes not respond to them when they talk to her. I told them that at home she talks all the time, not in full sentences but I can understand her and we used to sign when she was younger. She may not speak full sentences but she can understand everything you say/ask her and tell you what she wants in one form or another or she’ll just get it herself.  Most of this happens during lunch/nap time. By the time they eat lunch at school it is way past her nap time so she is tired, won’t eat and it may or may not include a meltdown.

Well last week daddy wasn’t travelling and worked from home all week and did drop off and pick up. Last Thursday one of the teachers expressed their concern to him about Buggy’s lack of communication and that when they mentioned it to me that I pretty much just brushed it under the rug. They said that she doesn’t really play with the other kids but more by herself and will sometimes stand in the corner away from everyone (that’s usually when she is pooping). So when my husband mentioned this to me I was really surprised and pissed. And then I got really pissed at them. I’ve seen her playing with kids when I’ve been in the observation room, I’ve seen her when I pick her up and hide so I can watch her for a few minutes. She may not play with the others all the time but she most certainly has. But give the kid a break. It’s a new place for her and it’s only been a few weeks. When they thought I was brushing things under the rug, I was letting them know that this is normal behavior for her or that that is how she is at home, etc. I thought I giving them a better understanding of who Buggy was and how she is. So now all of a sudden my daughter goes to school two days a week and her teachers are telling me that she has a speech problem. I had an issue with that. She says new words, phrases every single day, she repeats what you say to her, she tries to sing along with stupid Dora and Boots. My husband expressed concern about her not talking when she was like 15 months or so and when I spoke to her pediatrician numerous times about it HE had no concerns. Like I said, she can tell you exactly what she wants one way or another so the frustration of not understanding her was never there. Buggy has been ahead of schedule on some things like in height and weight, she started saying mama at 6 months, climbing the stairs and furniture at about 9 months, weaned herself off the bottle at 8 months yet she refused to walk until 16 months-whatever it happens. Every child is different.

Anyway, I called a meeting with the teacher and directors and we were able to meet that very afternoon. Hubby started talking first and he told them that he had concerns as well about her not talking and can you believe that dipsh*t threw me under the bus! Thanks a lot for having my back dumbass! I was so pissed. I was in that meeting feeling very defensive like it was my fault my kid doesn’t talk like the others. First of all, don’t compare my kid to yours and second of all if my kid doesn’t want to talk to you then you know what, she’s not going to talk to you. I’m not going to force her. There are many times she ignores her own father when he talks to her. She’s 2.5, if she doesn’t know you well enough or isn’t comfortable with you just yet then she is going to clam up-period. You can ask her whatever you want and she won’t talk to you. At first they thought it was because she is learning 3 languages. At home I speak to her in English and Spanish and when my dipsh*t husband takes her to see his dumbass family they speak portuguese to her.

As her mother, someone who spends 24/7 with her, I don’t see any concerns whatsoever. Buggy is learning new things every single day, I communicate with her, I teach her and work with her every single day and my gut tells me there is nothing wrong with her. But I did call Early Intervention and scheduled and appointment for them to come out and evaluate her because if there is just the slightest chance that there is something going on then I will do everything I can to help her. If my dumbass husband would put his damn iPhone down when he’s home (generally he’s only home on weekends because he travels for work) he would see that she is saying more things each week. Btw, nothing really came out of that meeting. Not once did they ask what could they do to help her, to make her transition a bit easier. It was me telling them everything that I do with her. Like I said, I felt like I had to defend myself.

So mama’s please tell me your thoughts. Were any of your little one’s late talkers? Was there anything differently that you did or would have done?

Irene

9 comments:

  1. I've done a two part series on "Measuring Up." I'm not a professional, but I have a good head when it comes to knowing my kids as you do to. Here's part 1 on Amanda's Books and More: http://abooksandmore.blogspot.com/2012/04/measuring-up-1.html
    and here's part 2:
    http://abooksandmore.blogspot.com/2012/04/measuring-up-2.html



    I think it will confirm what you feel in your heart. Maybe your hubby would find it helpful too. By the way, I'm presently doing a series on "My Husband is a Martian." Hahaha!


    Take care and I'll send a prayer your way!


    Tina - mom of 4, author and blogger of 5 blogs

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  2. I do understand that all children develope differently but it NEVER hurts to check with a developmental pediatrician. If you're wrong - great! But if you're not, then Buggy will get the extra help she needs. :)


    Lisa

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  3. I don't think it should be a HUGE concern at 2 1/2 --my son was very quite up untill age 4-of course he has a Big Sis who NEVER shuts up ;) but I think maybe she's taking it all in-new place, new kids, there could be a little bit of truth to what the teachers see, but I don't think it time to rasie the RED FLAGS yet-having an evaluation is really NOT going to hurt -and IF I MAYBE SO BOLD -- you and the hubby really should be on the same page before talking to teachers--maybe he need a day alone with her to really "see" =^}

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  4. I think meeting with the director was a positive step to show you do have your daughter's best interest at heart. Children simply do not always develop at the same speed as other children (my fourth one is a reaaalllyyy slow learner at being potty trained whereas the other three were easy peasy). Everyone is quick to offer advice, but I think as a parent you almost always know if there is a problem or not. I think the advice of checking to be sure (offered by AutismWonderland in your comments) could work in your favor. Not only will it show your avid interest but it was also give you a sound reason to state there is not a problem, if there really isn't. And if there is a challenge to be met, it would be good to find it early on. Good luck, whatever you do. I hope things work out and soon.

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  5. My brother didn't talk until he was 4 so you can just imagine how my mom felt! She must have been panicking every other day. The thing is, every kid develops differently, but there are guides around just to check and see if any concerned should be raised. A friend who is a pediactrician says that on average, kids should be able to say syllables like mama and dada. So if you've a few months past this mark, you can always see a specialist if you're worried. If not, you can always wait it out.

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  6. I'm sorry you are having a crappy time with the preschool and that your husband didn't communicate with you prior to the meeting. I have 3 boys and the oldest is 3 1/2. I had no problem understanding him and thought he was doing great. I thought about calling early intervention since my friends kept mentioning that they had a hard time understanding him. I didn't call. Well, now that he is closing in on four, his vocabulary is HUGE but I can't understand him quite often. Gone are the days of using context to figure things out. He is also having a hard time learning his letters and how to spell because he isn't able to say them correctly. I wish I had called early intervention. It goes up until 3rd birthday here. We are now waiting on the school district for speech testing. I've learned that any delay in speech can affect reading and comprehension, so the sooner it is fixed, the better. I think I might call early intervention on my nearly 2 1/2 year just to make sure. Parenting is so hard!

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  7. Beig shy is totally different from not being able to form words and communicate.
    My oldest, who is 8 now, spoke early - only I didn't realize it was early at the time because I had no point of reference. He was speaking in full conversations by his second birthday. So when my next guy came along and only had 3 or 4 words at 18 months, I brought him to the pediatrician who confirmed that he needed early intervention immediately because he was way behind. He was in early intervention until his 3rd birthday when he aged out, and he was speaking - for the most part - in sentences by then, but mis pronouncing many of his words, so we had to put him in private therapy, which JUST ended in June. He is going to be 5 next week and going to kindergarten in the fall and I actually think he's finally to the point where other people can understand him and he's "caught up", so I am thinking he probably won't get put into speech therapy in the school system when he starts next month.

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  8. Debbie (Wrinkledmommy.com)August 10, 2012 at 10:18 PM

    As a mom of a son who was a late talker, my advice is don't worry about this AT ALL. I was like you, and was so worried at first. But then realized every child develops at his/her own pace. I can assure you, by the time she is 4 or 5 years old, you will want her to STOP talking sometimes. Tell the teachers to relax. This is a time for her to play and develop in her own way. Hang in there mama! :)

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  9. Thanks Debbie. She has been saying so much more since this post. I still get angry at the teachers because I don't think they gave her a chance. She is just shy - give her a chance to come around esp since she only goes 2x/week.

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